How to live with dominant leaders

How to deal with and live with dominant leaders

What do you do when your leader always wants the last word, takes up the most space in meetings and leaves no room for others' perspectives — but you still have to function in everyday life with him or her?
Dominant management is one of the most frequently discussed dilemmas in Norwegian working life, in the span between the need for clarity and the requirement for participation.

When Domination Becomes a Leadership Style

Dominant leaders often expel control, targeting and power of action. In situations marked by uncertainty, this can be valuable. But when dominance becomes pervasive, it often creates stress, silence and reduced security in the team.

Recent research shows that microdominance — small, repeated signals of overriding or interruptions — can have strong negative effects on group climate (Gandolfo, 2020). Amy Edmondson (2019) emphasizes that even skilled teams lose learning ability when dominance prevents open dialogue.

Studies of the dark sides of management (Harms & Spain, 2024; Einarsen & Skogstad, 2023) points out that behaviors that seem effective in the short term, over time create manager dependence — where employees adapt rather than think independently. The result is impaired innovation, well-being and ethical quality.

Advice for employees with a dominant leader

1. Understand the driving force. Dominance is often a need for control under pressure. It makes it easier to meet the leader calmer and more strategically.
2. Choose battles strategically. Use the energy where impact produces the most effect.
3. Communicate clearly. Be concrete and solution-oriented — not just critical.
4. Build support. Concurring votes provide greater impact and reduce power imbalances.
5. Find the right venues. Use smaller meetings or one-on-one conversations to be heard.
6. Take care of yourself. Power asymmetry can erode. Use HR, mentor or networking as support.

Advice for leaders who recognize themselves in dominance

1. Practice microlistening. Please allow room before responding. Pauses of 2—3 seconds increase others' experience of being heard (Pentland, 2021).
2. Structure the meetings. Allocate speaking time and use tools that secure all voices.
3. Ask open-ended questions. “What do you think is the next step?” It creates dialogue instead of governance.
4. Be conscious of micro-actions. Small interruptions or ironic comments have a greater effect than you think (Gandolfo, 2020).
5. Share the control. Give room for action, not just tasks. Trust is built through responsibility.
6. Ask for feedback. Invite the team to say how your leadership style is perceived. Vulnerability builds reassurance faster than symbolic measures (Edmondson, 2019).

Research's updated perspective

Meta-analyses show that balanced leaders — those who combine determination with involvement — achieve the best results on both performance and well-being:

• Transformational leaders who temper their need for control achieve over 25% higher employee satisfaction than authoritarian-oriented leaders (Harms & Credé, 2023).
• Employees under high-dominant managers report more frequently emotional exhaustion and lower learning culture, particularly in knowledge organizations (DeRue et al., 2022).
• Leaders who train perspective-taking reduces the level of conflict by up to 30% (Hensel et al., 2024).

Reflection questions

• How do I react even when I face dominance — do I back away or do I face it with resistance?
• What situations can I tolerate letting go of control in?
• If I am a leader: What balance of clarity and listening characterizes my meetings?
• How can we as an organization train on confident disagreement as a counterweight to dominant practices?

References

• Edmondson, A. (2019). The Fearless Organization. Wiley.
• Gandolfo, A. (2020). Everyday Leadership and Microaggressions in Teams. Leadership & Organization Development Journal.
• Einarsen, S., & Skogstad, A. (2023). Occupational Environmental Psychology. Gyldendal.
• Harms, P.D., & Credé, M. (2023). Transformational Leadership and Follower Outcomes: Updated Meta-Analysis.Leadership Quarterly.
• Harms, P.D., & Spain, S.M. (2024). The Dark Triad in Leadership: Balancing Power and Responsibility. The Annual Review of Organizational Psychology.
• Pentland, A. (2021). Social Physics: Human Behavior and Collective Intelligence. MIT Press.
• DeRue, D. S., Nahrgang, J. D., & Wellman, N. (2022). Leadership Behavior and Follower Well-Being. Journal of Applied Psychology.
• Hensel, R., et al. (2024). Leader Self-Reflection and Conflict Regulation. Frontiers in Psychology.