Difficult people

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Most organizations have people who are perceived as demanding to work with. Not necessarily because they are difficult people, but because their behavior creates friction and breaks with the team's collaborative climate. In psychology, this is often called dysfunctional behavior in work groups — patterns that can occur when stress, role ambiguity or unresolved conflict are allowed to dominate (Einarsen & Skogstad, 2023).

Understanding these patterns helps leaders to see what function the behavior fulfills and how it can be channeled in a constructive direction.

Six recognizable work patterns -- and how to deal with them

Research shows that most challenging interaction patterns can be traced back to coping strategies under pressure. Here are six typical patterns, new research insights -- and concrete advice for how leaders can meet them:

• The critical voice It points to weaknesses and risks. Can create resistance if there is a lack of balance, but also contributes to quality and risk management.
  New insights: Teams that tolerate critical inputs early in the process avoid mistakes and learn faster (Edmondson, 2019).
  How to deal with: Acknowledge the criticism, but ask for suggestions for solutions. Ask, “What would you suggest instead?”

• The Conflict Cloud They seek security and harmony. While avoidance can lead to a standstill, moderate conflict shyness can also help mitigate escalation.
  New insights: Conflict-averse people tend to the avoidance style in the Thomas-Kilmann model, which protects relationships but inhibits problem-solving (Thomas & Kilmann, 2021).
  How to deal with: Have one-on-one conversations and show that disagreement is wanted. Ask open-ended questions to lower the threshold.

• The dominant — takes control to achieve control or results, but can unconsciously create fear in the group.
  New insights: Microaggressions and small dominant actions can impair psychological security and reduce participation (Gandolfo, 2020).
  How to deal with: Set frames in meetings, balance speaking time and use structured rounds to ensure broad vote distribution.

• The Martyrian — expresses dissatisfaction indirectly, through sarcasm or victim role. Often a sign of low perceived influence.
  New insights: Passive resistance can be reduced through involvement and value-based dialogue (Barsade et al., 2022).
  How to deal with: Put words to the underlying message: “I hear you're unhappy -- can you say more about what you want differently?”

• The Always Agreed (yes-man) They want to be the same and say yes to everything. Behind the facade often lies the fear of disappointment.
  New insights: Overfitting increases risk of role overload and burnout (Grant, 2021).
  How to deal with: Clarify capacity and encourage realistic “no”. Use priority questions: “What do we have to take away for you to achieve this?”

• The Unpredictable — Mood swings and inconsistency create insecurity, but can also bring creativity.
  New insights: Such profiles have a strong emotional contagion effect on the team's climate — positive or negative (Barsade & O'Neill, 2016).
  How to deal with: Create stability through routines, provide brief and clear feedback and support the development of emotional regulation.

What can managers do at the system level?

1. Look behind the behavior. Map out what needs or uncertainties lie beneath. Often it's about control, recognition or belonging.
2. Establish psychological security. Create a climate in which “difficult” topics can be addressed early. Confidence allows dissatisfaction to be expressed as a suggestion, not as opposition.
3. Provide clear frames. Clear expectations, consistent follow-up and fair processes reduce the room for destructive patterns.
4. Form feedback on behavior -- not personality. Use concrete observations and connect it to consistency for your team's goals.
5. Use positive channeling strategy. Give responsibility to those who take up a lot of space - e.g. risk management or quality assurance - so that energy is used constructively.
6. Reflect on your own role. Be aware of how your own actions affect the dynamics of the group.

Reflection questions

• What interaction patterns do I recognize in my team?
• What could be behind these — coping strategy, role ambiguity or lack of reassurance?
• What can I do to prevent these patterns from growing strong?
• How does the organization withstand discomfort, friction and discord -- without defining it as “difficult personality”?

References

Einarsen, S. & Skogstad, A. (2023). Occupational Environmental Psychology. Gyldendal.

Edmondson, A. (2019). The Fearless Organization. Wiley.

Barsade, S. G., & O'Neill, O. A. (2016). Manage your emotional culture. The Harvard Business Review.

Thomas, K. W., & Kilmann, R. H. (2021). Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument. CPP.

Grant, A. (2021). Think Again. The Vikings.

Gandolfo, A. (2020). Everyday Leadership and Microaggressions in Teams. Leadership & Organization Development Journal.

Institute of Labor Research (2024). Management, conflicts and psychosocial work environment in Norway.

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