Us and them

Why don't we work together -- even when we know it pays off?

Have you experienced that different parts of the organization protect their own resources, retain information, or make decisions that benefit their own department, even though everyone knows that it weakens the whole? There is rarely ill will. It's psychology. The pattern can be explained through the prisoner's dilemma and the unconscious we and de-thinking that often sneaks into organizations.

The Prisoner's Dilemma — When the Fear of Losing Overrides the Will to Win

In game theory, the prisoner's dilemma describes how rational actors end up with an irrational outcome because they fear becoming the loser by relying on the other. In organizations, the same thing happens: departments act defensively not because they lack an understanding of the value of cooperation, but because they consider the risk of losing more than the possibility of winning together. When reward systems, structure, and culture do not reward cooperation, protection strategies win the battle against community.

When the prisoner's dilemma meets we and the de-culture

In low-trust organizations, the prisoner's dilemma is nourished from subtle distinctions:

“We have to look after our own.”
“They don't understand our reality.”
“If we share, they use it against us.”

This is how small walls are built that hinder the flow of knowledge, innovation and shared learning. Over time, a form of collective self-protection arises — a zero-sum game in which everyone loses a little every time cooperation is lost.

How Leaders Can Break Prisoner Logic

‍Build trust before asking for cooperation. Trust must be invested before it can be claimed. When employees see that management is sharing first, the game's premise changes.
Create psychological security. As Amy Edmondson shows, the foundation of learning lies in the confidence to err openly — not in being right.
Make the community's gain visible. When people concretely see that cooperation produces better results, the incentives shift from fear to momentum.
Reward behaviors, not just results. When goal management and recognition are only about individual achievements, the prisoner's dilemma is cemented.
Tell stories of collaboration. Narratives shape culture. Narratives that sharing pays off unconsciously affect the organization's self-image.

Reflection Questions for Managers

Where in my organization do I recognize patterns of the prisoner's dilemma -- where fear of loss overrides the desire for shared gain?
What signals do I send as a leader about sharing, openness and mutual commitment?
How can we change the language usage from “we and they” to “us”?
What does it take for cooperation to be perceived as a safer choice than protecting one's own interests?

Robert Axelrod showed that cooperation develops when actors meet repeatedly and are given the opportunity to experience gains of trust over time — not through control, but through reciprocity. Tajfel and Turner's research on social identity explains why humans quickly form “in-groups” and “out-groups.” Together, they illuminate why organizations need leaders who actively challenge us-them thinking and make trust a systemic choice. Trust-based management is therefore not about kindness but about strategy: understanding that the safest way to win is to play for the team.