When the feeling lasts longer than the moment
Being a leader is about much more than making good decisions or managing processes. It's just as much about understanding and managing emotions -- both your own and others'. Often a small event can leave traces in us that last longer than the moment itself. This is called the “sustain effect,” and it's something we've all experienced.
Why the feeling lasts
Research from Stanford shows that our brains tend to “hang themselves up” in negative or positive emotions, so that they become more long-lasting than the actual event (Gross & John, 2003). This is because the brain has a system for reinforcing and sustaining emotions — a kind of “sustain pedal” for emotions. For example, a puff of air to the eye may cause us to blink, but if we are exposed to more such, we may become more sensitive and respond more strongly to smaller stimuli (LeDoux, 1996; Phelps, 2006).
This effect can be useful when we need to learn from experiences, but it can also make us more vulnerable to being affected by small events over time. In working life, this can mean that a negative meeting or a critical comment can linger and color the teams' cooperation for a long time afterwards.
What you as a leader can do
As a leader, it's important to be aware of the sustain effect and how it affects you and your team. Here are five specific pieces of advice for dealing with this:
1. Name the feeling
Identifying and naming the emotion can help the brain process it and reduce its intensity (Lieberman et al., 2007).
2. Create space between impulse and response
Taking a pause before reacting can help you avoid acting out of first impressions and allow you to choose a more constructive response (Goleman, 1995).
3. Use reflection and conversation
Talking about the event with the team can help to process and put it behind them so that it does not color the collaboration for a long time (Edmondson, 2018).
4. Focus on learning
Look at the event as an opportunity to learn, rather than just something negative. This can help the team develop and become more resilient (Kolb, 1984).
5. Build on positive experiences
Consciously focusing on positive events and experiences can counteract the sustain effect and contribute to a better work culture (Fredrickson, 2001).
Example from practice
A manager in a large project team experienced that a staff member reacted strongly to a critical comment in a meeting. The feeling lingered for several weeks and negatively affected the collaboration. By using reflection and conversation, the manager was able to help the employee process the feeling and restore confidence in the team.
References
Gross, J. J., & John, O. P. (2003). Individual differences in two emotion regulation processes: Implications for affect, relationships, and well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85 (2), 348—362.
LeDoux, J. (1996). The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life. Simon & Schuster.
Phelps, E. A. (2006). Emotion and cognition: insights from studies of the human amygdala. Annual Review of Psychology, 57, 27—53.
Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007). Putting feelings into words. Psychological Science, 18 (5), 421—428.
Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ Bantam.
Edmondson, A. (2018). The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth. It's Wiley.
Kolb, D. A. (1984). Experiential Learning: Experience as the Source of Learning and Development. Prentice Hall,
Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56 (3), 218—226.
